A paradox is generally defined as something (person, situation, action) having seemingly contradictory qualities or phases.
I’ve come to the conclusion lately that my life is full of paradoxes, and they leave me in a state of feeling like I’m supposed to be doing something about them. However, what if by their nature of being a paradox, there wasn’t actually anything to fix or change? Because, both states are true.
Like with most of my methods, I start by writing them out, to shine a light on what it is I’m talking about:
Paradoxes I’m living with:
- My next chapter can be my greatest chapter. I’m living my greatest chapter. You’re looking at it.
- I am enough. I will always strive to be more.
- More is no longer the answer to what I want. Not wanting more leaves me feeling complacent.
- My wife and I have an amazing relationship. We will look back in 5 years and realize we’ve grown in ways we couldn’t imagine today and the place we were living in today doesn’t feel good anymore.
- I am a success. I am not done living and will find new things to be a success at.
- I’ve reached my financial freedom milestone that I couldn’t have imagined for myself earlier in life. Worrying about money never goes away.
- I can do what I want, when I want. I can’t think of anything to do.
- I live a fulfilled life of peace and feeling good about myself. I’m bored and keep asking “What’s next?”
- I’ve needed years of self-work and healing to recover from a lifetime of wounds and scarring. My traumas have made me who I am and have given me my super powers.
- I work tirelessly so that my children don’t have the childhood I experienced. I wonder if they’re prepared for the world.
- I live an enviable life. I’m not satisfied with it.
- I’ve spent years working on feeling OK with myself. I’ll never feel complete.
- I live a much happier more fulfilled life than 6 years ago. The work never stops, and never stops being painful, and old lessons I thought I was long done with keep showing up.
- I am a student of my own self-mastery and have learned a tremendous amount of how I best operate. I’m human and forget my lessons all of the time and fall into old habits.
- I’ve lived with much regret about poor decisions I made earlier in life. The life I have today would not exist without having made those mistakes and I wouldn’t trade the life I have today away for anything.
- Feeling good about myself and feeling satisfied gives me a lot of peace. Feeling peace and satisfied has cost me my ambition.
- I “made it” by most of life’s and my own metrics. I keep searching.
- I live a created life. By continuing to create the future I’m leaving myself feeling incomplete.
- It’s good to call it good sometimes. I have an upper limit problem and not allowing myself to go beyond it.
- I have an abundance of freedom and ease in my life. I struggle with what to do with myself.
As I look at that list, it feels like a mess. And that is one of life’s truths: We never get free of the mess.
If I were to rewrite the list, and remove the paradoxes, this is what I’m left with:
- I’m living my greatest chapter. You’re looking at it.
- I am enough.
- More is no longer the answer to what I want.
- My wife and I have an amazing relationship.
- I am a success.
- I’ve reached my financial freedom milestone that I couldn’t have imagined for myself earlier in life.
- I can do what I want, when I want.
- I live a fulfilled life of peace and feeling good about myself.
- My traumas have made me who I am and have given me my super powers.
- I work tirelessly so that my children don’t have the childhood I experienced.
- I live an enviable life.
- I’ve spent years working on feeling OK with myself.
- I live a much happier more fulfilled life than 6 years ago.
- I am a student of my own self-mastery and have learned a tremendous amount of how I best operate.
- I wouldn’t trade the life I have today away for anything.
- Feeling good about myself and feeling satisfied gives me a lot of peace.
- I “made it” by most of life’s and my own metrics.
- I live a created life.
- It’s good to call it good sometimes.
- I have an abundance of freedom and ease in my life.
Now the “mess” is gone, and that list above makes me feel good. Everything there is true. Someone else might choose to only share that list.
HOWEVER, life is messy. Life is full of paradoxes. It doesn’t serve me or anyone else to state otherwise. I resent people when they pretend to have it all together. That simply isn’t true.
The people I hope to attract (and you’re one of them by reading this) are attracted to operating from this space of wholeness. A place of paradoxes. Because that is real life.
I feel empowered speaking this, not weaker.
I feel inspired acknowledging this, not defeated.
As has been true for my writing in recent times, I’m a changed person at the completion of my article than I was when I started writing. That change is only possible when I use fear as my compass and lean into my edge.
There’s nothing more I need to do. I have accepted these paradoxes.
What’s a paradox you live with? Share it with me and maybe we can inspire each other.
