TLDR; My wife just got their (Robin is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns) dream job as a full-time cancer researcher at a top university cancer lab by back-dooring their way in with no formal education. Full pay and benefits!
Longer version: It was only a few years ago, less than that, when one night I woke up at 3am and Robin was up in bed and we started talking. During that talk Robin revealed a life-long dream of going back to school and getting a degree in health sciences to one day be a researcher.
Robin’s school and career ambitions were derailed by life. At age 18 Robin moved from California to be with me in Canada (Robin was a fan of mine at first). Robin had no legal status until after we got married 5 years later. We had 2 kids, and Robin also suffers from chronic health issues, which sometimes can leave them in bed for months.
At age 39 (3 years ago), Robin began the process of what it would take to be a student, and work around their health issues. That meant being a remote student, and a part-time course load. Robin figured it would take 8 years to get their degree.
Robin had more difficulty with the courses than expected. Robin’s limited physical resources balanced with family life, and being away from school for over 20 years meant the gap to fill academically was quite big and challenging.
There were some early victories (Robin was invited to be a TA for the human cadaver lab after completing their first human biology course because Robin had a great and enthusiastic meeting with the professor – the highlight of which was holding a human brain in their hands), and having the highest grade in the class for a pharmacology course of 250 people.
However, if the class was something that Robin felt less enthusiasm for, it was a real chore, and then Robin’s health issues would flare up. Robin reduced their course load to only a single class per semester. At this time Robin was feeling really defeated because at that pace the degree would take forever.
Robin learned that one of the side benefits they really enjoyed of being a student was the university access to medical journals and papers. Everything was free to access, and Robin would read papers out of interest on their own.
Robin took this natural interest to attending medical conferences. These are normally attended by doctors only, for speaking about the latest advances. Robin was particularly drawn to cancer conferences.
At one conference, the speaker on stage, the head researcher at a large cancer lab at one of Canada’s top universities told the audience he was looking for med students to help in his lab, and they could refer them to him. Robin held up their hand in front of the room and said “I’m a health sciences student”.
After the doctor was done speaking, Robin approached him to talk more. He was looking for 4th year med students, and Robin was not even a first year student (Robin technically qualifies as an “interest student”). They exchanged information.
Robin followed up with the doctor, and at some point they had a phone interview. He asked for Robin’s CV.
This is all Robin’s accomplishment, but I want to say Robin took a page from my “turn your weaknesses into your strengths” and for the CV totally owned all of their life experiences rather than try to pretend they are a more accomplished academic.
So Robin’s CV was filled with their life story which included organizing raves, putting on a haunted house for disabled kids (called Frolic’s Haunt), their time as an apprentice taxidermist, as well as being trained as a midwife. It did not include medical degrees, or any traditional academia.
The doctor continued to have interviews with Robin, and at this point he wanted to find a position for Robin as a student.
He then created a volunteer position for Robin, because the normal positions are for 4th year med students. Robin began work organizing a cohort on a study for treating kidney cancer. Robin had transferable skills of being able to read medical charts, from Robin’s own independent learning and their natural interest in research.
All of Robin’s work is done remotely at home, which easily works around their health challenges.
After about 6 months, Robin was done their work on organizing this study. The head doctor referred to their work as “a master piece”. The doctor had never had seen such thorough work. The work on organizing data for a study is foundational because otherwise it’s “garbage in / garbage out”. Robin’s work was used to secure more grant funding.
He took more of an interest in Robin, and started a 2-week mentor call, just to check in and chat. During these calls, Robin revealed to him something they were afraid to speak, which was that being a university student isn’t working. But Robin was afraid if they weren’t a student, they’d lose the opportunity to work at the lab.
The doctor came up with a solution – he would hire Robin for a token 5 hours a month, and Robin would keep their university credentials and be able to stay with the lab. Robin worked far more than 5 hours, but this meant not having to take classes at the same time and focus 100% on the lab work.
After about 5 months, Robin began taking the research data and created an Oracle database for the lab. Robin has a ton of transferable skills, and things the lab has wanted and needed all of a sudden Robin was making possible. Robin had no previous training in Oracle, but is a lifelong nerd and simply learned enough to accomplish the task at hand.
Then Robin made a bold proposal to the lab director – hire Robin full-time. He asked what they had in mind. Robin didn’t know what to say for money so put it back to him. He said “Well, normally the position pays $x (this is Robin’s story so I won’t talk about their money specifically) but when the university hires people there are usually a bunch of boxes to check and you have none of them so how about $y? and Robin countered saying “How about $x minus $5000 plus benefits?” and the doctor said “I can do that.”
And that’s it! Less than 2 years from that original conversation about wanting to go back to school, Robin was hired full-time. And this past week Robin was promoted from a contractor to full salaried employee with benefits. With no degree. Only tenacity.
Robin taught me a powerful lesson: For my entire life I’ve had the belief that how I do things is made possible because I’m an entrepreneur and can make up my own rules. If Robin can bust through the rules of academia and medicine of all places, then rules can be broken in any situation.
At dinner we told our children there are two people in this house that demonstrate that there other ways to achieve your dreams, whatever they are.
I’m so proud of Robin and the best part of all this is Robin has started to see how powerful their own story is. Robin used to compare themselves to me to make themselves feel bad. Now Robin sees otherwise. Including last week during couple’s therapy when our therapist said “remind me again how the two of you met?” and it was made clear we are together because Robin made it happen. Robin wanted me and got me :-).
What lesson can you take from Robin and apply to your own life?
