The millions I’ve turned down are more powerful than the millions I’ve made

(Chris’ note: This article was hard for me to write and share. I’ve realized I can be vulnerable about all sorts of challenges in my life, past and present, but the one thing I get scared to do is talk about my successes. I know this is fueled partly by my complex relationship with money, how I value myself, and societal lessons that no one likes a braggart. And at the same time I know my story is important to tell. That people need hope and optimism. That there are many roads and paths to success. I’m also taking a dose of my own medicine and asking myself “What scares me?” Posting this today is scary to me.)

I have the experience of turning down 7 figure offers twice in my life. I was pondering what it means to create or accept a million dollars, and how much more powerful it is to say you turned it down.

The first time was from an internet marketing guru who wanted to buy a share in my webinar business. He would then instruct his million followers to use our service in their marketing funnels.

My partner, Geoff, had had several meetings with him to discuss, and when things got more serious Geoff told him that his partner (me) would need to be involved with the discussions. The guru invited us to visit his ocean-front property. At that time it was revealed I couldn’t enter the US, so the guru flew to Toronto on a private jet for lunch and a meeting with me and Geoff.

It was intimidating to have a meeting like this, that someone took a private jet for the sole purpose to see me. I “dressed up” with a button up shirt instead of my usual attire of a pinball t-shirt.

This guy “looked” rich. With the label clothing, shoes, jewelry. He also had an entourage. A videographer and photographer were with him to document the trip for creating social media content.

While he was in Toronto for the trip, he played a game with his followers of them guessing where in the world he was. The winners won cash prizes.

He showed me pictures of his home that was being built, a place that looked like where Celine Dion lives.

I realized in this moment I had no lust for his wealth. I didn’t want anything from this person.

“More” is no longer my answer for “What do you want?”.

Over lunch and the rest of the afternoon I listened to the road map of what Geoff and he had cooked up. He’d make a 7 figure cash investment into our business, of cash we didn’t need, that would be paid to us as a dividend.

I realized in that moment that the money would not change my life. I already live in my dream home. I don’t want more stuff. The only purpose I could come up with that money was to buy the house next to mine to make sure it doesn’t get torn down and find myself living next to a McMansion that overlooks my backyard pool.

I wanted to be a good partner to Geoff, so I did not stand in the way. However, negotiations continued for some time and more and more Geoff and I realized what a culture clash it would be to change how we did things to now have a new partner. After much discussion we both realized we’d rather not do the deal, and keep the peace in our lives of a business we own 100% of and can run any way we want.

Because Geoff had developed a closer relationship with the guru, it was left to me to be the bad guy in this moment. On a 3 way call I told him we had decided to not proceed and this was the end. He was upset and shocked. He later funded a competitor of ours.

I have no regrets. Our business is healthy and we don’t have to answer to anyone. My role with the company has been eliminated and I receive passive monthly dividends for my 50% stake.

The other time I turned down millions of dollars was when it was gut-check time about the future of my role with the company. I had built all the technology myself,  but it had outgrown me, and had for several years. Normally someone in my position would take on the role of CTO. But I was miserable and wanted out. I didn’t want to be a boss or manager of people.  My abdication of any role meant all of my work had to be replaced, a new team assembled. It took years and millions of dollars in re-investment. That money was funded from my pocket (with Geoff, 50/50).

I could have forced myself to stay on to avoid that outlay of cash. But I’m here today with lived experience that money does not buy happiness. I was already miserable, and staying on longer would have made me more miserable. It would have also kept me from doing the important healing and self-work I’ve been doing these last 3 years. That work to me is priceless.

So I’m left pondering this story. Of how powerful it is to not only say I’ve made millions, but of this story of turning millions down, simply because I didn’t feel like it.

Now that I’ve done that, there isn’t much that frightens me. That’s another priceless lesson.

I just shared a very specific and personal story. What was your biggest take-away?