“I’ll work for free” was how I got my first job. At age 12 I walked into a newly opened computer and video game store and somehow had the courage to ask for a job. When I was turned down, working for free was my solution. They accepted.
I worked for free for the next several months, then below minimum wage (because I wasn’t even at legal working age). I was paid $3.00 an hour, when minimum wage was $3.90 at the time. I was so happy to make money.
When I was 18, I was invited by the owner of that same company to leave home and move to Toronto while he started to franchise the business. “I can’t afford to pay you anything right now”, was his offer. I’d live with him at his home. Once again, I was working for free.
I started getting paid money again, although essentially minimum wage for highly skilled and valuable work (I was flying around the country opening and training new franchises).
And then a few years later the company ran into trouble. The owner once again asked me to work for free. This time he proposed I collect unemployment insurance while I still went in to work.
I accepted.
My work was never valued and I never developed the ability to value my own work, between my lessons from this company and my own father who worked his ass off his whole life, broke his body, and never made much money.
When I became a DJ I did not know how to value myself. I took whatever I was offered. A lot of my bookings were me accepting the gig, and then being handed some money after, which I didn’t contest or debate. I felt lucky to get anything.
When I was a rave promoter, I was sleeping on the floor of my office, unable to pay for a real place to live because I didn’t know how to value myself. Later, at the peak of my success, I was selling out events of 5000, and living in a basement apartment because I was afraid of raising ticket prices by even $5, which would have made a big difference to my life. I was charging just barely enough to squeak by.
The biggest change in my life was when I co-founded my webinar company. I would take care of all the tech, my partner would handle all sales and customers. And he did one other very important job… he protected me from myself.
We split the profits 50/50, and he made sure there was plenty. For the first time in my life I was not living in a subsistence way. I had money in the bank for emergencies. Our cat needed surgery and I was able to pay for it. We moved out of our apartment into a rented house. We bought a car after not owning one for 14 years. We bought a home and I paid it off in 3 years.
My money problems were solved, however that only happened because I had a partner making sure I got mine.
Now that I’m in this most recent part of my life, as I seek out “What’s Next”, I wanted to prove to myself I could do it alone. For the first time in my life I’m claiming my value.
I’ve spent the last few years in therapy and self-work, and finally got to understand who I am. Not just who I am, but how valuable I am.
The first essential piece of this was to recover from my imposter syndrome. To see that all these things I’ve done and have been involved in didn’t just happen. I made them happen. To fully own that.
One doesn’t get to where I am in life by luck. I realized I had been seeing the things that made me great as my secret shame. No longer.
And then how does one put a price on that?
Well, I did. Because doing that was an important part of my recovery.
I am the sum total of all my life’s experiences, lessons and my mistakes. And there’s only one of me in the entire universe. Pretty awesome.
Where I landed was everything I do now has a million dollar price attached. For 1 day of my time, 1 client, or 1 program. I can feel it, and when I let others experience it, they can also feel it.
I no longer play the shitty game of trying to guess what someone can afford. I have declared my value to myself and everyone else and inhabit that space. My goal, whether or not they can afford that price, is that they see it and they want it.
I write this blog as someone who charges a million dollars for their time. You’re getting the best I’ve got to give.
And that’s where things have changed for me.
Where does your next challenge lie in claiming your own value?
