Over 2 years ago my mother suffered a brain aneurysm. She was found confused on the street, brought to the hospital, had emergency surgery, and then was in a coma for over a year. At her advanced age brain elasticity isn’t the same as for a young person and her prognosis wasn’t good. She didn’t recover, was moved out of the neurology ward, and 6 months later was moved to a long term care nursing home.
I had to mourn the loss of my mother. Her body remained, but her mind had left. I waited for her body to follow. And then… she woke up. At first she was uncommunicative, but as the weeks passed she had more awareness. My sister would report (this was happening in another city from where I live so visits are infrequent) that my mother was functioning as a toddler. And then she continued to improve.
I last visited a year ago, and at that time my mother was in a wheelchair, her body had atrophied during the coma. I could talk to her, that alone was a huge improvement, but I could tell there was a shallowness within her. She was excited to see me, but I could tell she didn’t miss me, and when it was time for dinner she immediately wheeled away and didn’t look back. She was very “in the moment”.
Last week I went to visit again, and brought my two children with me to see their grandmother. And this time… my mother was 100% recovered. It was a miraculous one-in-a-million recovery. Against all odds. She wasn’t even getting full medical care, not being seen by specialists, since she was in long term care. Her brain recovered on its own, and she did the rehab work to recover her mobility.
She was no longer in a wheelchair, and she sat with us, attentive to my kids and I sharing what’s been going on in each of our lives.
One of the gifts of this visit was I got to experience through my mother’s eyes what I’ve been doing in my life, and how awesome it is. She was blown away as I shared my impossible goal, and how I’d been using it, and where that has led me so far. It reminded me about how hard I am on myself, always searching for the “next” thing. Life is more than just professional accomplishments, and I had so much more to share with my mother. “Dude, you’re doing amazing” was my thought to myself after the visit.
My mother’s recovery was truly a one-in-a-million, and that reminded me it can happen. In the past I’ve taken great risks because I felt even if something was a one-in-a-million then it was still possible and I should at least try. Otherwise I’m the reason it isn’t happening. I don’t want to be my own gatekeeper. My mother showed me again how possible that is.
She’s now waiting for a doctor’s reassessment to be given her power-of-attorney back, and then will leave the nursing home. Usually going to a nursing home is a one-way street, and she’s taking a U-Turn.
I want to live in a world of hope and optimism. My mother’s story is a reminder that there is always a chance, even at one-in-a-million odds.
I’m going to use my mother’s story to help me when I’m facing what seems like overwhelming odds again in the future. That will be my mother’s legacy.
What stories of yours allow you to dig deep in the face of overwhelming odds?
