Last week I shared about a trip I was about to embark on with my sixteen-year-old son. The idea came from a conversation we had a few months ago, about a desire to do something one-on-one with each other, and he suggesting we do something we’ve never done before. I suggested that we take a trip and let serendipity guide us. We’ll make no plans, and see where we end up and what we do. He was a hearty yes to that idea.
That led us to last week, and in preparation I pre-wrote my article, since I was leaving on the day it was to be published.
And then… my son slept in. And kept sleeping. I’d check on him, and go do some errands, and check on him again. He’s been really pushing his late nights this summer (something I’ve allowed as a 16-year-old) but now he seemed to be extra draggy.
Finally, I clued in, and asked him “It feels like you don’t want to go”.
“No, sorry, I should have told you earlier”, he responded.
I was bummed, because I was excited, but what am I to do with a teenager who is acting like one? This was supposed to be fun, not some forced activity. I decided to let him off easy, and leave an opening for the future.
“Sounds like you’re a no for now”, I said.
“Yeah, no for now”, he responded.
I let him be, and left his room.
“I love you”, I heard him call out as I left.
“I love you too”, I said back. I comforted myself with knowing this wasn’t personal or about me. Sometimes teenagers are going to be teenagers and want to mope in bed and not go on an adventure.
I gave up leaving that day, and thought maybe I could go by myself the next day. But the weather conspired against me, with a hurricane making its way inland, creating a heavy storm where I lived. Not a pleasant time to be outside on an adventure. I resigned myself to it also being a “no for now”.
As I write this out and share it, the disappointment I felt on that day has evaporated, and I’m filled with the belief that I’ll have another opportunity. And so, I’ll remind myself of that being true the next time I face a set back. It’s OK if things don’t always lead to awesome stories and adventures.
I also know it’s easy to share and show curated experiences of a fabulous life, but often it doesn’t go the way we want, and I want to be part of sharing that as well. Often these versions of stories never get told, which creates a twisted sense of reality. I want to challenge myself and others to take on what seems impossible, AND I want to be real that we don’t always go from success to success. Sometimes it’s one step forward and one step back, and that’s OK. That’s life.
