We’re living in a time of peak nostalgia. It seems everything was better back in the day.
The thing is, we’re comparing the VERY BEST of the past with now. We forget all the crap. For every hit song, there are countless forgettable ones. For every iconic movie, there are dozens of others we can’t be bothered to watch again.
I’ve been wondering if I’m suffering from nostalgia for my old life. One of the things I feel I’m missing most from my life these days is “passion”. I recently rated myself a 5 out of 10, with moments of high intensity. I feel this is quite low to how much passion I felt in my life a long time ago.
I’m comparing my life today with my life decades ago. And I’m starting to wonder… am I being overly nostalgic? Have I just forgotten how boring much of my life was?
I’m beginning to come around to the answer being… yes.
I wrote a memoir about the first 30 years of my life, and it’s an intense ride, but also… it’s a memoir. It’s my memory. It’s a highlight reel. Everything in that book is 100% factual and told to the best of my ability, but I’m also a storyteller and I don’t want to bore my audience.
Even my recent trip to COP28 in Dubai, I can tell a very powerful story about my experience, AND… I was suffering from major jet lag. I slept a LOT. I had 2 intense days while I was there, and the rest of my time I was mostly recovering. The story I tell is not the lazy days, it’s the intense days. That becomes the official record of my trip.
How likely is that true for when I was in my 20s? And unfortunately, most of those lazy days are long forgotten because they are forgetful. Only the high intense moments I remember, because they became anchor memories.
I can easily recall the moments of success AND failures. They make for great stories. But what of the rest?
I’m starting to conclude that feeling a 5 out of 10 for passion is completely fine. Like an audio meter, the needle is sticking straight up, and can wobble in either direction. It also has room to spike. In audio, if you go past “the wall”, audio gets distorted. You need to mix it to allow those spikes. Having the needle in the middle is an optimal place that allows for maximum dynamic range.
By living at a base line of 5 out of 10 in passion, I’m allowing for those moments of extreme intensity.
The thing I have to remember is that this has always been true, and allow myself grace for when I’m not feeling that intensity.
There was never a time in my life where I was always at a 9 or 10, only moments.
I was too young, and did not have enough life experience, to know or feel any different. There was nothing for me to feel nostalgia for, so everything felt fresh and exciting.
Going forward I will allow myself grace that I never was a 9 or 10 out of passion at all times in my life. My baseline is 5, allowing for maximum dynamic range. It’s as true now as it’s ever been.
I’m committed to my next chapter being my greatest chapter, and further challenge myself that I am already living through my greatest chapter. Recalibrating how I perceive it is a major part of experiencing it that way, otherwise I’ll always be comparing it to a nostalgic highlight reel, and that simply isn’t based in reality, and not fair to me now.
Coming to this conclusion allows me to claim the life I have today as my greatest chapter.
And that feels good.
Where do you suspect you experience nostalgia in your own life? How might it benefit you to acknowledge that you are?
