One thing that has become crystal clear to me is from my years of working through my imposter crisis is that I have an incredible understanding of “How” I best do things.
I learned this because to overcome my crisis I had to switch from feeling like a fake to owning my successes. I learned how to identify my retroactively provable truths, some of which is documented in what I call my “Statement of Being”.
When I tap into that, magic happens. When I demonstrate it for others, I create awe. I can turn it on at will, and that makes me feel good, and electrifies whoever is in the room with me.
The problem I’m facing now is I don’t know where to go with all of this.
I’m on the receiving end of a lot of suggestions, but no one has identified it yet. I know this, because if it was identified nothing would stop me from going for it. “Fait Accompli” is a feeling I know. The outcome is already known to me. I don’t have a target of that right now, and that is frustrating to me.
When I look at older articles of mine, from years back now, I was speaking of this same problem.
Now, it’s not like I’ve wasted years. I’ve done tremendous work on healing myself. Of looking inward. And sharing what I’ve learned with anyone who is interested.
I’ve created a life of ultimate freedom for myself where I can be there for my family as needed, which will always be my top priority. I also have the freedom to do things like create new books.
The thing is, now more than ever, I feel I’m ready to take on that next thing. It’s like I’ve trained for the Olympics, but I don’t know when the next one is or if they’re even having it.
I can sense “diminishing returns” when I consider doing anything I’ve already done. It simply isn’t as interesting to me.
As I write this, what comes to mind is I need to expose myself to new things. Covid has been a brutal suppressant to me having new experiences. And I’m reminded now to allow myself grace for things outside of my control.
And it can still be frustrating for me.
I have decided that writing for the Frolic 100 every week is something I enjoy and will continue to do, and I can see today I’m writing from a place not of having figured something out and sharing my wisdom, but of sharing a challenge that I’m still in the middle of.
And that feels good as well.
