The first weekend of August in Canada is a long weekend: three days during the height of summer. It’s a nice midway peak to the summer holiday and also serves as a permanent reminder of one of the most depressing moments in my life and how far I’ve come since.
Exactly 15 years ago, I was a struggling comedy hypnotist, facing a precarious financial situation due to having gone through bankruptcy a few years earlier. When I moved on from my DJ career, I was financially ruined. A combination of youthful naiveté, not allowing myself to profit properly from my hard work during the years I could have, and enduring a boom/bust cycle resulted in financial failure, despite the stories, experiences, and lives I touched.
After that, I struggled to build a hypnosis career, facing the usual peaks and valleys cycle of entertainers. However, this time, unlike when I struggled as an aspiring DJ, I also had an entire family to support as I was married with 2 small babies.
At the time, we lived in a 2-bedroom apartment in midtown Toronto. The apartment itself was fine, but I had so little money that I couldn’t even afford a car. I would rent one as needed to drive to gigs.
During mid-summer, my two primary markets – high schools and corporate events – were both dead and wouldn’t pick up until the fall, leaving me with no income.
It was during that particular August long weekend that I felt acutely depressed. The heat was oppressively hot, and our apartment had no air conditioning. The city was quiet with lots of people on vacation, and I was painfully aware I was not one of them. I had no money to even rent a car and escape.
All we had were public parks to walk our kids to. It was a reprieve just to get out of our hot apartment and walk to the local park with a stroller.
Standing outside my building, noticing that the city hum was quieter than normal, feeling the heat and knowing that most people had gone somewhere while I couldn’t, I felt an overwhelming sense of being trapped.
Additionally, I felt like I was failing my family. I was their chief breadwinner, and it felt like I was failing at that.
Although I had hope that my situation would change if I kept working hard, in that moment, on that hot August weekend, hope alone wouldn’t get me out of that stifling apartment and the scorching city.
I’ve never forgotten that feeling of being trapped.
Now, every year, when the August long weekend comes around, I think about that time in my life. And I’m filled with gratitude that it’s simply a story from my past; a moment that reminds me to be grateful for the life I have now.
When I talk about having “enough” in my life today, it’s a reflection of how much more I have compared to that younger version of myself. In many ways, I currently live the dream that struggling version of me had. It was completely valid for me to want out of that situation, and I worked hard to change it.
The needs and wants I have today are different from those of my younger self. That guy wanted to not fail his family and escape the heat of the city. Those were completely legitimate desires.
So I acknowledge the path I’ve taken to solve those problems and it nourishes my gratitude now. It also emboldens me to define what my next chapter is.
My “hierarchy of needs” has been met because I choose not to move the goalposts.
The things I want now are not more stuff, but rather, to make an impact on others and the world. I want to live a life worthy of inspiring others and to model what having enough means, even as I reflect on a time in my life when I had very little.
One way to continue doing this is by sharing my story with readers like you, putting it out in the world for others to discover.
In addition, I’m setting an intention to do something nice for someone this long weekend; to make an impact on someone and make a difference in their life. I want to make it a tradition, every year, as I reflect on my gratitude for my own story during this specific time of year. I plan to do it in a modest way, without recording it or seeking social media recognition, as is popular nowadays. Just a simple action, one that has the power to change everything for someone.
I came up with that last paragraph at 7:30 AM as I was writing this. It completely came to me as I wondered how to end this article. And now my story has been shared, and a new intention has been created because I chose to share it. That’s magical, if you ask me.
I’m curious, what’s your takeaway from this?
