As the new year (and new decade) begins, I get very reflective.
I’m coming off of what ended up being 2 years off. And by off, I mean off of traditional work. Just over 2 years ago the decision was made that I would step away from my responsibilities at Stealth Seminar, that a new team would come in to replace my work. I had reached the limits of my abilities, and it was time to change things up. I hung around way longer than I should have and was experiencing some huge burnout. My role today remains as a co-founder and co-owner, but without daily responsibilities.
There was no grand scheme to what I would do during my time after. I have 2 school-aged children, so they remained my priority. I enjoy getting up with them in the morning and seeing them when they get home from school. I don’t think they have any idea what that means, but I suspect in time they’ll appreciate it.
Instead of doing the cliché Instagram travelogue of another entrepreneur trying to find themselves on the beaches of Thailand, I started going to psychotherapy twice a week. I had a lot to unwind.
I remember my very first session, not even being able to talk much about what’s all going on when an anxiety attack over took me and my therapist spent the remainder of the session doing some guided meditation and covering me with a blanket as my mind desperately tried to disassociate from me speaking about my shit.
Things began to get better. I spent my time taking courses, reading, meeting some new people, expanding my mind and healing. I wrote to this blog once a week and I spent the summer at my backyard pool.
By the start of the second year, in addition to my therapy I brought on a coach to start trying to figure out “what’s next” for me. I journaled and started a year-long gratitude project. “Self-work” became my full-time job.
That second year led to the completion and launch of my memoirs. I continued to get healthier and stronger.
I began to see the introspection work as limitless. Like a starry night, and the overwhelming awesomeness of looking up at the Milky Way, I began to feel the same awesomeness of what we all carry around inside us. That there is no end to the depths of where we can go inside ourselves.
In my memoir, there are some stories in there of how I used to deal with crisis, and that was to withdraw. Withdraw from everyone. I can see now that I handle things differently today, from a place of strength.
I’m ready to get back into the game, of taking on a new challenge. I realized the most powerful thing I can do now is serve people like me – entrepreneurs leaving their successful businesses and then asking “what’s next?“. I have unique perspective on trying to find purpose after you’ve achieved all your material goals. Of being in a place of comfort but still feeling an emptiness and desire for something else.
That “What’s Next” question changes and evolves over time. For me at first it was 2 years of rest and healing, of learning and introspection, then “what’s next” turned into something else, helping others like me.
What does that mean, exactly? Just like my own personal journey wasn’t planned or written in advance, there’s no straight answer for that. But I’m intrigued to have conversations with others and see how I might be able to serve them.
We’ll see where this all goes.
