Despite my best efforts, I still fall into comparing myself with others and then feeling less than.
It happened this past week. I was doing a bit of research on podcasts I might want to guest on. I did some searches around the idea of life after you leave your business. I found some, and then I started seeing the little bios of the successful “exits” of the guests.
Here’s the thing – I’ve never “exited”. Every business I’ve ever created I ran until it was complete and then I abandoned it and did something else.
And even now with my webinar company, I “abdicated”. I abandoned it again. This time is a little different because my partner took it over and runs it without me.
He’d love it if I had a role with the company, but I chose to have zero. I would have sold my share if I could, but I didn’t get the deal I wanted. I took the deal I had.
So I don’t have a typical exit story that I can trot out for a podcast interview and toot my horn about what the deal was.
And then I realized – shit, I’m feeling it again… this is imposter syndrome. I’m feeling less than when comparing myself.
At least this time I caught it.
Because I don’t follow the regular rules of how things are done, that I create unique work-arounds, or find a whole new path, I was comparing myself with these “traditional” stories once again.
And the crazy thing is, I’m fully aware that I’m living a very fulfilled life, one where I score most of my life metrics very high. A life I created.
I don’t have that sexy “exit” story, and yet I feel alone with my embarrassment of riches. I’ve achieved and acquired everything I’ve ever wanted. “More” simply isn’t the answer to “What do you want?” any longer for me. I have an enviable life of freedom and peace. I spend my days doing whatever I want.
I didn’t suffer financially under covid. In fact, things continued to work out for me. My passive income grew multiple times since covid started. And not in a “my crypto went to the moon – ooops, it’s back down again” way, but in actual cash I receive every month. It’s like a printing press and I don’t have to do anything.
What an achievement, and yet I caught myself thinking I’m unworthy being a guest on these shows.
I write to my email list of 100 people. I made it exclusive, because the reality is after writing my blog for 3 years that’s where I ended up. So I feel less than, once again, when comparing myself with the followers of these big shots who have successfully sold their companies. People I’ve heard of.
The thing is, I’ve come to learn the power of my story. Of doing it differently than everyone else, that is what makes me so unique and valuable. I’m not a Silicon Valley guy. I didn’t follow any playbook. And even where I am now, I’m doing it in my own unique way.
I actually can’t teach how to be successful playing the normal game. I’ve never done that. And I’m living proof that there are other ways to play. Other ways to succeed. Even other ways to “exit”. I teach just by existing.
I started writing today under the prompt once again of “What do I need to hear most right now?”. I’m clearly writing this for myself. I needed to hear this today.
I can feel my energy change as I’ve written. I’m leaning back more into myself. I can feel myself inhabit my power again.
What’s different this time, is I recognized it was happening. I felt less-than for a moment, and then I realized I was doing it. And then writing this blog is part of my process now. I work out my thoughts and feelings into a concise post, giving myself clarity, and then sharing my unique voice with you, one of 100 witnesses that have assembled together to be a part of this.
The key for me is to continue to run my own race. I found my way back. I have much to share with the world, and I will do it in my own unique ways. Today you are a part of that.
The next time you find yourself feeling less-than when comparing yourself to others, what can you do to catch it happening, and what tools can you utilize to bring yourself back?
