I’ve been dealing with a lot behind the scenes. One of the things I’m learning about myself is my natural habit of soldiering on in the face of huge adversity and not revealing to anyone else what is going on. I tend not to talk about the tough times in my life until they are in my past, and then they become stories I share. My challenge now is to share what I’m going through and allow myself to...
I’ve been getting better lately at recognizing some of the dark voices in my head. Recently, Robin and I were having a deep conversation, but Robin didn’t want to continue it. I felt Robin “pulling away from me” simply because Robin didn’t want to have a conversation with me at that very moment. I experienced this as a threat of withdrawal of love. And I realized in that moment, this...
I was recently involved in an exercise to introduce myself to a room of people by allowing myself to be seen in a vulnerable way and crafting a poem about who I am. I’m sharing this here, now, with you. I am Chris Frolic. I am audacious and goofy. I wonder how deep can I go within myself? I hear the theme song from Super Mario Bros. I see my wife’s face lying in bed looking at me. I want to...
I was recently invited and challenged to attend an event in San Diego this August. This triggers a lot in me. The short version of this is that over 20 years ago I was caught, detained and deported for working in the US without a visa as a DJ. This happened in 2000 (prior to 9/11 when we took the border much less seriously). The last time I tried was in 2005, when I was denied entry and held...
On my recent “Ask Me Anything” someone inquired about what I refer to as “deep work”. This is an abstract thought and term, and this morning I was inspired to write this article about it. I would describe it as a culmination of everything I’ve been doing these last 4 years. Of a journey looking inward. Of understanding myself. Of healing. Of learning what drives me, and why I do things. Of...
I’ve realized the words I have the hardest time hearing are the ones I want to hear the most. Of the impact I made simply by showing up and being me. Every day I find ways to do that, but I’ve begun to notice if you actually remark that you were impacted the way I wanted, I have a hard time hearing it. I have a very re-enforced habit of self-validation. I don’t need anyone to tell me I’m being...
My youngest, Connor, had a pretty clear idea of how he wanted to dress for Halloween this year. An anime inspired “Cat Maid”. My wife, Robin, helped him create the costume. And then in was time to take it to school for Halloween this past Friday. Connor was happy and excited to wear it, and of course there’s the risk of what can happen at school around the other kids. Later that...
This past month I was volunteer part of a team putting on a large personal growth event. “Chris, you’re an amazing speaker. When you’ve spoken in the past, you’ve always had the biggest turnouts. You said you want to increase your impact at the event so we’ve come up with an opportunity for you to do that by coordinating the speakers for this event”, I was asked. Yes, “on paper”, it makes sense...
(Chris’ note: This article was hard for me to write and share. I’ve realized I can be vulnerable about all sorts of challenges in my life, past and present, but the one thing I get scared to do is talk about my successes. I know this is fueled partly by my complex relationship with money, how I value myself, and societal lessons that no one likes a braggart. And at the same time I...
This summer my family was invited to stay for a weekend at the summer camp my oldest kid normally goes to. Because of covid they’ve been unable to operate as normal for 2 summers. As a way to do something, they invited a handful of families to enjoy their property, in a socially distant manner. I haven’t done anything or gone anywhere since covid has started, so this was a really nice offer that...
I recently shared a fear of mine that I experience every single time I host a Zoom event. There’s a moment, maybe for a few minutes, as I sit ready but before people connect, that I wonder if anyone will show up. That I’ve become aware of this voice is progress. That I speak it is progress. AND it is still present. It was present last week during my book release. Dozens of people...
Pinball has been a hobby of mine for almost 10 years. “A world under glass” is often how each game is described. There’s something really engaging about watching all the physical interactions of the ball, as it moves around the playfield, up ramps and down again, getting rocked around by pop bumpers, the lights flashing in your face, the “clackity clack” noise of all the solenoids firing. The...
Despite my best efforts, I still fall into comparing myself with others and then feeling less than. It happened this past week. I was doing a bit of research on podcasts I might want to guest on. I did some searches around the idea of life after you leave your business. I found some, and then I started seeing the little bios of the successful “exits” of the guests. Here’s the thing – I’ve...
My wife, Robin, and I have been doing weekly couples therapy for the past year. We started just before the covid lockdowns hit in March 2019 and we still see our therapist together on Zoom every week. Our goal was after over 20 years together, we both aspired to grow our relationship to a place we don’t even know exists. It will only be knowable when looking back. I want to look back 5 years from...
At the depths of my crisis, my acute imposter syndrome, my overwhelming anxiety, it got to the point where I felt you could hold a gun to my head and order me to do the work I needed to do, and it still wouldn’t get done. You would have to kill me and I would accept my death. The fact that I was making millions of dollars during this same time period compounded everything to me. I couldn’t...
There’s a feeling I trigger often in people. Maybe you’ve experienced it yourself. When you’ve been in the audience for one of my events, one of my Zooms, read one of my articles, or watched a video of mine. I didn’t even realize I was doing it, until very recently. It was instinctive in me, I make myself feel good when I do it, without realizing it. My superpower is: I elicit awe in people. I do...
I used to carry so much shame about my failures. I never spoke them. I hid them from the world. I projected my strengths and hid my weaknesses. I only spoke about my victories. Yes, that sort of works, and it will impress some types of people, but at some point it just wasn’t working for me anymore. It fed my imposter syndrome. My list of failures I carried like the chains the character Marley...
I recently was watching the movie Kill Bill on Netflix. I saw it when it was new and was enjoying revisiting it. There was a scene that jumped out at me with new gravitas. It was a scene between “Bill” (played by David Carradine) and “The Bride” (played by Uma Thurman). This is a transcript of the monologue from that scene. Bill As you know, l’m quite keen on comic books...
By 2012 my life was on a trajectory I hadn’t experienced before. Real financial stability. I had huge monthly dividends arriving, had moved out of my apartment, had a bank account flush with cash and for the first time in my life nothing to worry about. There was one fly in the ointment though – my brain was so conditioned to worry, to my precarious life, to living on the edge, that...
There are 92 people on the email list for this blog. Of that, approximately 35% open each email. That gives me a weekly readership of 32 people. By any standard metric that seems tiny. Email lists are generally measured in thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands or even millions. Followers on social media sites are measured the same way. 32 people reading what I have to say barely...