There are 2 words/phrases that almost always show up when I’m feeling bad about myself: Should and Supposed to “I should be working harder on my book” Or “I’m supposed to be making the world a better place.” Here are some more of the ones I live with: I should lose weight. I’m supposed to be doing more with my life. I should make some more money. I’m supposed to be a good son to my parents. I...
I’m not sure where I picked up the phrase “quality problem”, but I’ve been using it recently to describe the doldrums I have found myself in. I’ve written previously about the not-so-helpful habit of comparing my “quality” problems to other people’s “real” problems. Like some prior advice to myself, I’m going to “stop...
Here’s a powerful tool that I’ve created to help myself deal with some of my feelings lately around success and guilt. The point of it is to bring clarity in, and get out of the amorphous haze of letting the emotions run roughshod over you when they’re simply not even true and certainly not deserved. This has been modeled on previous tools I’ve created, except this time focused on the particular...
As someone who suffered from crippling imposter syndrome for many years (and eventually overcame it and even wrote a book about it), I am very familiar with the feelings of being a fake, of thinking someone is going to find out the truth, and everything I have is at risk. There can be no expansion without contraction, and those years of contraction, no matter how painful, were an essential part...