For the first time since I started my blog, in January 2018, I didn’t write a weekly article last week.
That’s over 4 years and over 200 articles, week in and week out, not to mention publishing 2 autobiographical books. As I was thinking about what I might want to write about last week, I was inspired with the thought that the most difficult thing for me to do would be to not write and take a week off.
I thought and waffled about that decision for a few days. I even considered sending out a notice that I was skipping the week – which is sort of cheating. In the end I decided to not send a thing.
It was good to give myself the break. It allowed me to think and reflect on what it is I want to accomplish and where things go from here, if I allow myself to break the routine.
Starting this blog was the very first thing I ever did to start reclaiming my voice and story. Over the course of the 4 years I transformed from someone ashamed of their past, felt like they cheated their way to success, and didn’t think they had anything of value to offer anyone. None of that is true, and never was, and most importantly – I no longer believe it.
It makes me feel good that my journey is documented here for all to see. That part feels “complete” and I’m wondering once again “What’s next?”
I’m going to give myself some more time to reflect – I’m taking a break from everyone, including my family, for 3 days. That is huge. I’ve been on call 24/7 365 for many years now. Covid has exacerbated things and I’ve barely left my home. I live in a beautiful home I love, a life I’ve created, and it’s become my own gilded cage.
I’ve booked a private retreat 90 minutes away from me, and I’m here as you read this. My plan is to spend time outside in nature, by the water, and let myself not feel pulled on by anyone. I’ll remain open to fresh inspiration, but I don’t want to put pressure on myself either, so I won’t force anything.
And that’s it for right now.
