I’ve been given a gift. A way of sending a message to a younger version of me. This is what I’ve decided to send to a version of me that was really struggling, around 6 years ago in 2017.
Dear Chris, it’s Chris, from the future. Probably best if you don’t ask questions about how this is possible. Simply listen to me. I have this opportunity to tell you some things you’re going to find helpful and useful. I know you’re at a crossroads, and you are filled with fear and doubt about what’s to come and what to do. I’m here to help. This is your action plan.
Step 1: Heal
You didn’t get here without picking up some deep hurts. Both from a long time ago, and along the way. Use this time and position you have to tend to yourself. What that means, practically, is start seeing a therapist, and other methods like deep coaching to look inside.
You don’t realize it yet, but there are habits and tools you developed much earlier in life (starting in childhood) that you deploy in ways that are not helpful any longer. Avoidance is not a healthy strategy. Some of the things were once as you refer to as “beneficial malfunctions” but now have become straight-up malfunctions and really negatively impact your life. The good news is this can be overcome.
You’ll never be completely “healed”, but you will be on a healing path, and eventually have healed enough to be ready for what’s next.
Step 2: Learn to tell your story
I know that right now when you’re reading this, in 2017, your website is a blank page and you’re not even included on the About Us page on your webinar company website. This was by your choice. You thought it was the right thing to do. You don’t need to hide any more. Start by writing your bio, and tell your story. You’ll revise it over time and you will get better at telling it, but you have to start somewhere. I’m not talking about the “LinkedIn” version of your story, I’m talking about showing the real you.
Here’s the thing – everyone, and I mean everyone has had struggles, and continues to struggle. Everyone is afraid of coming off as a weirdo. Everyone is afraid of what others will think of them. You will demonstrate what’s possible when you lean in to revealing yourself and not some polished fake version (or no version at all).
Re-write the “Our Story” page on the company site and claim your right as co-founder to proudly tell your part of the company story and what you brought to the table. Start a blog, and start sharing something about your story every week. Write once a week, and in a few years you will literally have hundreds of articles. Some of these will turn into another book you will write. I know it seems counter intuitive, but the weirder and more unique your stories, the more people will connect with you and find something that is true for them. Finish your memoir. It’s been sitting untouched for 10 years. Time to open it up and take in what a fantastic story you have, and the world needs to hear it.
Step 3: (Re)discover your superpowers
You are awesome. Truly. You didn’t get to where you are by luck (and if you still feel that way, see step 1 above and deal with your imposter syndrome). Now is the time to learn just how you achieved everything you have. There’s how you think you got here, and there’s how you really got here. That’s the magic for you to find within. And once that is known to you… whooboy, watch out! You have incredible transferable skills that go far beyond how you used to use them. Revise your bio again, with these new insights.
Step 4: Be honest about your selfish desires
This is another counter intuitive lesson. I know you want to make the world a better place, but trying to be selfless is not going to get you there. You’ll spend years with ideas dying on the vine because there wasn’t enough for you personally in it. And I’m not talking about more money, I’m talking about the things that really ignite your soul. I know you love being on stage, I know you have intimate knowledge of what it means to conduct the energy in a room. What if I told you you can still have that? Maybe not as a DJ again, but what if I told you that same feeling of energy and connection you once felt you can create again through a Zoom call, simply by taking your spot on stage?
Step 5: Deploy your superpowers on something fucking awesome and bigger than you
Once you’ve got your superpowers dialed in, and your selfish desires being fed, you can take that to a whole other level. Something truly impossible. Something that moves you, that you can powerfully talk about, and in turn moves others. And what’s amazing is simply because you’ve decided to do it, others in your orbit will be inspired to take on their own impossible challenges. That’s called propagation, and that’s a pretty awesome gift for the world.
With love,
Future Chris
PS: Your kids are going to be OK.
