I recently wrote about banning myself from asking “What’s Next?” for 6 months. Since then, I’ve shifted my focus to understanding the implications of the word “next”.
Whether it’s a “what’s next?” or a “next chapter” or even “who’s next?” made me realize something:
Always looking towards the “next” thing left me unsatisfied with what I currently have. The base premise of looking towards “next” was that there was something to be next, because what I currently have wasn’t good enough.
This is the trap. This is the trap of always wanting “more”. This is the trap of being caught on a hedonic treadmill, adjusting to your new normal, and then thinking you haven’t moved ahead at all.
I’m now rethinking the whole thing. If I eliminate “next” from my lexicon, then I’m left only with the present, the “now”.
Am I satisfied with now?
The short answer is – yes. As long as I don’t compare it with next! With what I could have. With what I can imagine, that I don’t already have.
Goals are important in life. I have used them successfully in the past but perhaps they’re also important to let go once you’ve reach a certain place. Because otherwise you’ll never be satisfied. You’ll be filled with conflict, and making yourself do things you don’t particularly want to do, filled with “shoulds” and things you’re “supposed to do”.
I’m exhausted with feeling there are things I “should” be doing, or “supposed to” be doing.
Says who?
Some invisible voice. A little bit of my father’s. A lot of society. A lot from my own family lineage where survival was all they knew and I’m living a different way. No one is actually banging on my door demanding I do anything. That’s coming from inside of me.
By imagining that my next chapter could be my greatest chapter, I’m undermining where I am currently and not allowing the possibility that I’m already living my greatest chapter. A paradox has been revealed to me.
This doesn’t mean I stop striving to do things that excite me, make for great stories, and make a positive impact to those around me, and the greater world. But what if I simply dropped the immense mental energy that there is a “next” to get to? I know and trust I will “answer the call” whenever that shows up, in whatever form that shows up in. No point torturing myself in the meantime.
If I look at the things I’ve done in my past, as impressive as any of them are, none of them were driven by “next”. Because “next” was unknowable, simply because the things I were doing had never been done before, by anyone.
I’m living through that right now. This chapter of my life.
And there it is… the word “now”.
Right now I’m writing this article. I’m sitting in my home office, in my house, located in Toronto, Canada. My family is still asleep. It is 6:30 AM, the early dawn light is outside my window. I can hear a truck on the street. There are birds chirping outside of my window.
When I’m done in a moment, I will review, edit, and then publish it for an invited group of 100 people, and then it becomes part of a library of over 300 past articles that I am proud of. This is a big part of what I do now. If I take in this moment, what got me here, the fact that I woke up with this idea to write this, it makes me happy. I’m very satisfied with this moment of now.
Right now you’ve taken a moment to read it. This is your now. Thank you for letting your now and my now connect.
Share with me how embracing the “now” could benefit you. Right now. What comes up for you?
