Some time ago a coach I knew shared a story with me about the year he spent volunteering in a homeless shelter. One day this homeless man came in, with absolutely no possessions except 3 plastic bags. He had been robbed at a park, all his meager possessions were stolen. His one remaining possession was an old cell phone. The robbers had taken it, it dropped on the ground and the battery fell off. They took the battery but didn’t manage to take the phone.
He wasn’t looking to be coached to get off the streets, he didn’t want to leave his way of life. But he did wonder if he could be coached around getting a new battery for his phone.
The coach helped him work out a strategy for him to go collect cans for recycling, the one way he knew how to make money. He knew what stores put their cans out at what times. What parks had the best cans in the trash. Over 3 weeks he accumulated enough to get a replacement battery for his phone.
He came back for one last visit to the coach to show his now functioning phone. He was so happy, because now he can call his friends on the East Coast again. People he had known for over 30 years, that he stayed in contact with, even as he lived homeless in Los Angeles. He knew they would be worried about him during his time without a phone.
The homeless man went on to explain that he was homeless by choice. He didn’t want to leave it. It was how he chose to live his life, unencumbered by society. Except for his old friends, who he stayed in contact with.
When I first heard this story, it was so alien to me, that someone would chose that type of life. It was a “nice” story, but hard to understand.
A few years ago I was attending a 4-day training in downtown Toronto. For 4 days I woke up early, showered, got dressed, and then got on the subway near my house to travel downtown to the hotel.
By the 3rd day I could feel myself wanting to scream on the commute. The schedule was killing me. The same routine undertaken by millions of people in my city for their entire working lives.
I then thought of that homeless man, and then thought of my own story. Of the years I lived on the edge, precarious, broke, bankrupt, but refusing to compromise how I wanted to live.
I realized I could not be paid enough money to do that commute every day. It was all I could do just to get through 4 days of it.
And in that moment I connected with the uncompromising freedom that that homeless man felt. I began to feel better about that part of my life. It was a choice I made. A powerful choice. A choice for freedom above everything else. I was no longer going to feel bad for myself for all the years I struggled. I had chosen it, because there was no other way I’d want to live.
Just like the homeless man, I was living aligned with my value of freedom over everything.
And eventually, I made my way of living work for me. Here I am today, living a “decelerated” life, of freedom, of abundance and one I’m thriving in.
I now realize I had way more in common with that homeless man than I could appreciate at the time. I’m thankful to have heard that story, as it gave me peace later about my own life.
What parts of your life might you have regret about, but when looked at through the lens of an uncompromising value make you realize there was no other way it could have gone?
